MY HALFWAY TO 70: A JOURNEY OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
I remember being 10 years old, wondering with childlike curiosity, What will I be when I’m 20? Back then, it felt like an exciting mystery, something far away and full of possibilities.
When I turned 20, that innocent curiosity turned into a quiet worry: What will I be when I’m 30? The question weighed heavier as life became more complex, responsibilities grew, and the world seemed both bigger and more intimidating.
In my early 30s, the question shifted again, this time into a quiet struggle: What will I become when I’m 40? Each decade, the question feels different. Its weight, its urgency, its meaning. What once was a dream has sometimes felt like a deadline, ticking louder with every passing year
And now, with just a few days left in 2024, the thought has been haunting me more than ever. Next year, I’ll turn 35 halfway to 70. The age my dad was when he had me. That realization hits differently. It’s not just about the passing years anymore but the legacies we create, the lives we touch, and the fleeting nature of time itself. These questions, they stay with me. They shift and grow, just as I do. But maybe, just maybe, the beauty lies in never fully knowing the answer.
Every year, I take a moment to think about the path I’m on. Where is it taking me? Where will it end? I always come to the same answer: I don’t know. Still, I keep walking, following this path, even without knowing where it leads. Sometimes, I wonder whether do people have their paths already decided for them? Or do they create their own as they go?
I’ve asked others, hoping they’d have an answer. But they don’t know either.
Maybe that’s just how life is … a journey where we keep moving forward, even without all the answers.
I keep walking on this path, even as I quietly question myself: Why am I on this path? Is it really mine? Will it lead me to the life I dream of?
The answers don’t come easily, but I keep moving forward, hoping that each step brings me closer to something meaningful, something true.
What would truly bring me happiness? Is it wealth? Fame? Or the simple joy of seeing the people I love happy? I keep searching for the answer, but even now, if you asked me, I wouldn’t know what to say. It’s a question that lingers in my heart, waiting for a truth I haven’t found yet
I want to confidently say that the path I’m on is the right one, that I have no doubts and no regrets. I want to move forward without ever looking back. But the truth is, I don’t have that confidence. Year after year, I close my eyes and ears to the doubts and just keep walking. And yet, the question clouding in my mind: Is this path truly meant for me?
What am I truly dreaming of? Is this dream really mine, or is it for the people I love? When I finally reach the goals I’ve set, will I be able to smile and feel content?
What is the real reason we’re all here? What’s the true meaning of it all? These questions stay with me, quietly waiting for answers I’m not sure I’ll ever find.
People think I’m always happy because of what they see on Instagram. But the truth is, I share the happy version of myself so that others can feel joy when they see happy. Deep in my heart, I know there’s still so much I need to work through within myself to truly find the happiness I’m searching for.
PS: Recently, I’ve also been finding peace through my faith, and it’s been helping me. But I keep that part private, as it’s a personal connection between me and the God who created this universe. This writing is just about my general feelings, without touching on the religious side of it.
